asap-tran:

really-shit:

If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

fuck

sketchypanda:

kiriiv:

how the fuck do legs work i don’t 

i have a few feet ones too

lolistriders:

*walks onto a crime scene*

swiggity swag who’s in the bag

manicpixiedeathbitch:

• Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the stone
• Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the chamber
• Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the dementors
• Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the triwizard tournament
• Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the returning
• Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the creepy childhood
• Harry Potter and the voldemort can u not with the horcruxes and just die already jfc

mytoecold:

A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it. 

I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”

I wrote this:

Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.

Love,

Drew